The Organization of Economic Co-operation and Development has released several bullet points on how to deal with global unemployment after its summit of labor and employment ministers. The organization echoes yesterday's news of Mohamed El-Erian's (reported but unconfirmed) assessment that a rising natural rate of unemployment would be one outcome of this "recession." The OECD says that high unemployment remains a problem even after "growth" returns to developed economies. This is the scenario that has played out in Germany, Japan, and France, all of which have seen economic growth but anemic employment growth.

You have to love the OECD. Hundreds of elite members of 30 rich countries meet in five-star resorts periodically. They eat. They drink. They talk. They watch and give snazzy PowerPoint presentations. At the end of the week, they release a list of bullet points. All that toil and rigor transpires in the name of "a stronger, cleaner, fairer world economy."

Can you argue with that? I can't, except for the enormous sums of money that are spent on these conferences and the ridiculous amounts of jet fuel burned.

Anyway, the most recent bullet points, the ones about unemployment:

• Safety nets are needed to reduce poverty. Humbling in its brilliance. Now I see why no NGO ever hired me or even called me back -- those people are so much smarter than I!
• Switching to a green economy would create a lot of sustainable jobs. Hmmmm, where have I heard that before? Oh, right -- I've been saying it since Reagan tore the solar panels off the White House roof 30 years ago. Who listens to me though? I'm never invited to fancy conferences.
• Labor mobility and re-training should be promoted. This old canard has been kicking around since NAFTA was still under debate. "Workers will re-train for better jobs after their jobs are moved to China to be done by 13-year-old peasant girls!" Uh, yeah, well, I guess somebody will still have to clean your guys' toilets, gas up your limos, and shine your shoes so there will always be jobs. Good union jobs with good union benefits are another story. The press release made this sound like an earth shattering discovery. Seriously? Retraining? Is that all you got after all these years?
• Young people need help entering the labor force with things so messed up. Boy, now there is an actionable directive!
• Take measures to support the demand for workers. Another laser-sharp point that only the brilliant minds of the OECD labor and employment ministers could possibly determine.
• Promote the participation in the labor market of older workers and disabled people who want to work. Certainly no argument, but it's a little thin on specifics.

Seriously? Would it have been asking too much to ask for a couple of sub-points on each of these, or is your intrepid reporter being unreasonable? I'm not making any of this up. Those were the actual bullet points from the "Final Communiqué" of the summit, released just today.

What I really want to know is how many tens of millions of dollars this summit cost to put on. I am so totally jealous of the people who have those jobs. You have 30-60 leaders and their support staffs, and they come up with this? If I were King of the World, I would fire every last one of them and save the jet fuel. How's that for a "stronger, cleaner, fairer world economy?" Give us some meat for our money or take a hike. Maybe if some of these big shots actually had to deal with unemployment they would know something about it.

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