[DISCLAIMER: The following will be written under the influence of intense nicotine withdrawal. The writer hereby disowns any crankiness, no matter how entertaining, and warns readers that if they are easily offended, they should leave now.]

Nobody cares.

You work so hard, and even your friends don't bother to participate. It sucks.

Plus, you get to watch all these lame blogs become popular and it makes you feel jealous, then you feel like a loser, a jealous loser.

Sometimes you have your good days blogging. Somebody takes notice and you get this little ego boost, but it doesn't put any cash in your pocket. One post on one of my other blogs has been read something like 80,000 times now. Big deal. It's made me, like, ten bucks. Funny thing about that post: It took five minutes to write. It was one of those things where I got done with my morning routine, plopped down in the cockpit, and farted out a stupid post just to warm up before doing important writing like cover letters and resumes (it was back in the day when I was dumb enough to want to work for somebody else). The posts people enjoy: the stupid ones. The ones you pour your heart into, nobody gives a crap. Your own mother won't bother to comment.

Turds float. Gold sinks.

People suck. (I'm not talking about you, dear Reader. You're cool. I'm talking about all those other people. The ones who don't read my blogs who constitute the vast majority of humanity.) That's the problem with the Google algo -- it relies on people sharing content. The content that gets shared is deemed more "authoritative." Well, I've got news for you, Google: People are morons. "Authority" is a popularity contest. That's why retarded sites like Gawker and all those other dumb blogs with lots of pictures become so popular, because people are morons. You'd think the smart people who calculate the Google algorithm would have figured that out by now. Shows you just how stupid people really are.

That's why blogging sucks, because the turds float to the top and the gold nuggets sink. The world in general seems to work like that, come to think of it, mainly because people in all their bullshittiness are in charge.

Some moron out there is thinking, "What an ego! He thinks he's a gold nugget!" Poor logic. Maybe you didn't read the part about some of my posts getting tens of thousands of views. If anything, that fact places me squarely in the turd camp.

sigh

Some blogs deserve their success, I suppose, such as the ones I like that happen to be widely read.

In conclusion, blogging sucks.

You know what sucks most about blogging? It is a replacement activity. For example, this post is being written primarily because in my nicotine-deficient state, I am incapable of doing anything else. When I was unemployed and hopeless, it was just one rung above writing a suicide note and heading for the nearest bridge. (In that sense I suppose it doesn't suck -- blogging might well have saved my life, not that anybody cares.) When you have nothing better to do, you blog. Nobody pays you for it. Nobody cares. To top it off, you're only doing it because it's a slightly better use of your time than masturbation. Tell me that doesn't suck!

If you're blogging and not getting paid for it, you're pretty pathetic. That's all I'm sayin'.

What does that say about my self-image considering the thousands upon thousands of blog posts I've spewed over the years?