The American Holocaust. Thousands of Homeless Disappear!

http://homeless-disappear.blogspot.com

Posting here is my last hope. I have been searching for help for some time now and just read your post. I live in California but i will take your offer in a heartbeat if it is still open. 

I need to explain why so that other people can understand why some of us are in this position.  I see no reason to continue my life at this point. It feels like my life is over and nothing short of a miracle will help me at this point. 

My llife is so different now and no one is here to help. No one until I saw this post at least and I see no other way to stop what is happening. I've gone to shelters but have no children so i am not on the priority list. The programs available are a joke. They offer nothing to most people because resources are already stretched to thin. I went to social services and tried to collect welfare. You would think that being homeless qualifies a person, well not here in California. There would be a a check of 249.00 for three months but only if I have recently left prison and I was in a county drug program. I've never been to prison and I have never used drugs so I can't qualify. I went to the ER and said I was suicidal and at one hospital was referred to social services center the next day and released. At another I was given a place to sleep for 3 days and released.  I just wanted to bathe and feel safe for a few days & try to get into some type of shelter or program. Nothing was offered because nothing is available.

No one cares and I don't have children so I am not at the top of the help list in the US. Things are getting worse by the day in this country.  I've prayed to my mother and father to look down and help me but no help came. I don't believe in God anymore cause God sure stopped believing in me. I went to local churches looking for help and was sent away because I wasn't a parishioner. There is no God and I'm already in hell and my mom and dad can't hear me so there is no help. 

Where do you go when you have no programs  in this country to give you a hand up when you truly need it. There is supposed to be help available. I've worked all my life, paid taxes, did everything by the book & never turned down a job in my life. Because I did the right thing I am now in this position. I worked hard all my life & yet barely got by on a daily basis.   There don't seem to be resources available for people who truly need help and are willing to help themselves if only they can catch a break, even if it is just for a week.

This is why I am homeless:

I'm a 41 year old woman. not very young, not too old but I felt like I have no other option but to end my life. I worked as a manager for years. Then I lost my job. So for years I have had 5 part times jobs. That's right FIVE! Sometimes I worked up to 300+ hours a month. No exaggeration. I live in Orange County California and those of you in the area know it is not cheap to live here. Every penny counted. Christmas was my busiest time of the year and by January things started to slow down a bit. Enough so I could catch my breath. One night in January I decided I would finally go out after work. I figured I would have a drink and take a break for an hour or two. I had 2 1/2 drinks. But when your aren't use to drinking it effects you. I decided I was going to sleep in my car until I was sober enough to drive.

25 minutes later police knock on the window and go through the whole sobriety deal with me. I explained I wasn't driving but the key was in the ignition and the heat was on in the car, my seat was reclined so it was obvious I wasn't driving but he claimed he had a right. I blew a .09. Legal limit in Cali is .08. I begged him not to arrest me or I would lose my jobs. ( I drove from various locations within Orange County and LA county for each of the jobs I had). I was not able to have one of these jobs without a valid license and certainly not with a DUI conviction. Besides I could barely afford to get my car out of impound let alone an attorney for the charges. Ultimately I had no option but to take a plea from the DA's office. It was the minimum required for a DUI in Orange County. This advice was from my public defender and I felt seriously screwed but with no other option I took it. The judge passed sentence and pleaded that I wasn't driving but the state and county make loads of money this way and my case was just another kaching in the county's bank account.

I lost my jobs,  Unemployment denied me benefits because I signed paperwork stating a valid license is necessary for employment. No money means no home, no car & no future. I can't get my license until I pay for a DUI school but that cost 579.00. Not to mention the 2000.00 in fines I have to pay and they tack on additional cost for an alcohol liaison fee, DNA collection fee, MADD lecture and then pay for an SR-22 in California if I ever could get another car again. I've even tried getting arrested because I can't pay the penalties and because of overcrowding I was released and given an extension. Unbelievable!

I made 179.00 last month. I do not qualify for welfare assistance in California because I have no children and because I made 179.00 last month and have some employment it is another reason I cannot qualify for cash assistance. I receive 90.00 in food stamps a month. But with no where to live I find myself eating anything that doesn't require cooking. That doesn't really make the 90.00 stretch very far.  I have no where to live. I now look like all those people you pass on the street.

I was living in my car but it died, was booted and towed away. I have an iPod touch that I am writing this on. The screen is cracked but I can still kinda see what the screen says. I've tried to sell it but no one wants it and it has been my only lifeline to the normal world. Every now and again I can charge it at the library  and then sit outside staples or anywhere they have free wifi and apply for jobs or try to contact people.

 My family are all dead. I have no friends, never really did have too many and those I do know aren't in a much better position. All have said they can't help and not one has even offered me a floor to sleep on for a night.

I've tried to not give up, I really have but I can't take anymore. No one seems to care.  No one wants to even look you in the eye. I don't ask for help anymore. The people I once knew have said no so often I feel sympathy for them now. Its hard to turn away someone when your own survival is at stake every month. I know how they feel. They don't want to be put in the position and I am tired of crying about it afterward.

I just want this to stop. I don't know any other way then death. Things are so bad now I don't know if I can come back from this and then I read your post. it gave me hope that someone, somewhere might be able to help.

 Being homeless is terrible. I've been beaten, spit at, laughed at and told to get a job so many times and it crushes me everytime. You aren't looked at as human any longer and when you sleep on the street with rats and filth, you don't feel human anymore. You don't know until you are there. Next time you pass someone, even if you can't help them, at least smile and say hello. We are human and we are just trying to survive. We understand you can't help financially, believe me we do understand. But a friendly word and smile helps. For me, at this point, I don't know if I can get back to where I was before but I keep trying everyday to feel hope again. 

Please send a reply.  I hope the offer is still there. Thank you for trying to help people. We need it but sometimes don't know it exists.

Hang in there?? That's what most of us have done for the last 2 years. We have 2 kids, no jobs, and the home we were renting is days from forclosure.

I am tired of reading where people just say keep your head up... forget that. I need help and I need it today. Tomorrow will be too late. A struggling family of 4 that used to bring in median income, that is slashed to less than 50% and now where will we live? Can't afford rent (which in my area is atleast 3x's the current mortgage rate), but that's besides the point, who will rent to you when you have UI benefits.

Oh and lets not completely forget the fact that we are a blended family. If we end up homeless, I'm pretty certain my ex would be granted full custody of my 8 year old. How can I live through that?? On top of all this I have crohn's disease and no insurance. Therefore no medications or treatment other than holistic foods. Its a band aid for an 8" gash. The stress of this is killing me, if you have a solution..GREAT! Otherwise all your kind words mean nothing.