...when unemployment freaks you out

[Disclaimer: The following should not be construed as professional advice. If you suffer from panic attacks or severe anxiety, please seek professional help. If you are having thoughts of suicide, don't read this post! Go here or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) IMMEDIATELY.]

I don't want to seem like some kind of know-it-all. The stress and tragedy (so much of it internal) of being unemployed ties me in knots every single day. That being said, I am an old pro at this joblessness thing, having been in various states of it for the past 2.5 years and also having endured it during the recession of the early 1990s, when I was a strapping young buck fresh out of college.

Back on topic: If you are unemployed, you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say "unemployment freaks you out." Unemployment is more of a destroyer than a builder. It will (I don't care what anyone tries to tell you -- it will) erode your self-esteem, chip away at your marriage, and drive you a little batty in a thousand different ways. Joblessness is a many-pronged threat to your well being. It comes at you from every direction and rears its ugly head where you least expect to see it. You can end up driving around aimlessly, thoughts racing through your head, most of them not very pleasant.

Everyone will tell you to stay busy. I've said it myself. Everyone will tell you to work your network. You'll get all kinds of advice on being thrifty. You might have undertaken an exercise regimen and done everything right. At the end of the day, though, when you look at your face in the mirror after brushing your teeth, you still see that same unemployed loser, a little bit older. It can't be escaped.

The most difficult struggle is the one that happens in your head and in your heart, the one that may not be visible to those around you, even if you tell them about it. Even other unemployed people will not fully recognize your personal unemployment demons. It's different for everybody. We are complex creatures.

Here is what I do know: Taking a few deep breaths or a walk can't hurt.

I was never prone to panic attacks until I became unemployed. (I actually considered suing one of my former employers over this since they wrongfully terminated me, scarring me for life.) Now anxiety ambushes me on the regular. I hyperventilate. My muscles tighten. My chest hurts. I completely freak out. My thoughts go something like this:

What if I get old and sick, and I'm poor and alone on top of it! What if I have a heart attack and die right now? What if other people see me in the same light as I see myself? What if they think I'm even more pathetic than I think I am? What if they don't think about me at all? What if I really am just a brain in a jar having all this beamed into me by a mad scientist with a sadistic streak? (No no. That's ridiculous.) What if I never get a real job?

That's my thing. Your thing is probably different.

I find that if I sit down, keep my back straight, close my eyes, and take a few breaths, it goes away. A brisk walk vanquishes the panic monster, too. But that's only half the battle.

Once you've got the panic under control, you have to do something so that it won't come back. This is the "stay busy" thing that everybody tells you. It's much easier said than done because sometimes it seems there's just not that much with which to occupy oneself constructively when one is unemployed. Make a to-do list! Unless every item on it is crossed off, you have no excuse to sit around in a paralyzing panic. If every item on your list has been accomplished. Go to the park and fly a kite or something, and don't feel the least bit guilty about it.

That's the best advice I can give you on that subject. Good luck.

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