My mental health is down the tubes!
Well I've been unemployed for just under 5 months now and I have got myself into a right pickle. Here's the potted history so far...and it's a long one so bear with me.
Summer 2007. Been in a job for 5 years. Restructuring occuring and anxiety present about losing job. Also first feelings of not wanting to stay in that career any more. Get another 5 year contract but responsibilities change and I'm not enjoying the work. Also get a new boss I don't get on with. Stay because I can't find anything else.
2008 - Sliding into burnout! Boss ever more demanding, unreasonable and unsympathetic. Work demands increasing. My output begins to suffer. Boss suggests I should start looking for something else. Depression hits in October. Still can't find another position.
2009 - January, boss tells me I have to be gone by September. Scrabble for any job in a bid to escape the toxic environment. Still can't find anything suitable. In the October, end up accepting an entry level position I don't want in another city where, even though it is still in my field and I have done parts of the job before, new regulations mean I now have to do another degree on top of a full time job and work-based assessments and training (I already have a BSc and PhD).
2010 - April. Have a complete mental breakdown in response to the unwanted relocation, demands, loss of status and job stress. Resign
2010 - May & June Move back home. Spend two months in a depressed state unable to do anything. Start taking medication.
2010 - July and August. Pulling around a bit but now faced with the nightmare of job hunting. Finding it virtually impossible to job hunt as can't face any rejection. Keep falling into total avoidance. Also don't want to relocate and can't afford to retrain/take more qualifications (and don't particularly want to)and fear walking into a job and burning out straight away. Also having a career crisis as I don't know what I want to do any more.
Two weeks ago I finally got an interview for a rare as hen's teeth job I really wanted and was certain I'd get. I got through the first round and made it to the last 4. Company even said they were struggling to fill the position as they couldn't find someone in the right area with the right background. My background was exactly what they wanted and I know it's rare so I thought I'd walk it. Interviewers were very pleasant and promised to let me know the following week and said they'd give feedback to unsuccesful candidates but did not even inform me whether I had got the job or not, let alone give me any feedback!
I felt very angry and upset after that rejection and went straight back into depression. There are hardly any jobs going that I can apply for and I don't even want them but I don't know how to move into something else as they just outright reject me. Now I'm not even bothering to job hunt. What a mess!
Have you tried contacting them? I have found that it is the only way you will get feedback. Keep on trying, you will get a job!!!
Put "Follow up with Person Y at Company X" on your to-do list.
I'm not so sure you will get a job, though. They're pretty tough to come by. Personally, life changed for the better when I accepted that I might never get another job -- which is totally funny because I have a few skills and a killer work ethic, but... whatever, their loss.
What do you want to do, Birdy? Make a list.
I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles! It's such a tough market right now, please take some comfort in the fact that you're not alone. Contacting them is a good idea, right now it seems like nobody is calling to let us know that we weren't selected. Keep on trying!
Right now I am sitting here watching soaps while waiting for the Company that I interviewed with Mid August to get back to me with a decision. I have heard from them a few times since the interview only to tell me they are still interviewing. It sucks. But I stand by my advice and touch base with them once a week via email or phone just to keep my name in their minds. I also am still looking for other jobs. I have to have faith that there is something out there for all of us. Some of us may go into working for ourselves but the others whose skills do not lend to working for ourselves WILL find work. Notice I have not said when just that it will happen as long as we keep trying. We may miss the deadlines we set for ourselves, we may feel like it will never happen, but trust me as long as we do not give up and keep trying it will happen.
I'm am sorry to hear of your troubles Birdy. It is very tough out there/here in the land of the unemployed. I have been unemployed and underemployed for two years now. I have bad days and worse days - but most days I really try and be thankful for the things I do have, my health, a roof over my head, my friends and my dog.
I too interviewed with a hospital in JUNE!. I was the 'only qualified' candidate. Everything looked great. Kept in touch with the director (hiring person) and she kept telling me that they had not made a decision, people were on vacation, they had a JCAHO audit in July, new VP came on-board in June, etc etc etc. Hospitals are notorious for their procrastination. lol
Anyway, I find out at the end of August that the new VP has changed the job requirements to require an MBA. I have an MA and am working on my MS in health care admin with a 4.0.
We can't please everyone, but hopefully we all (ALL) will find a job which pays a fair wage and which we enjoy!
At least that is my hope! :-)
Thanks guys!
It makes all the difference to talk to people in a similar situation.
I did drop the company an email the following week but got no reply. It's very annoying when they were so adamant that they would inform me and were very responsive to all my communications before the interview. To hear nothing at all is worse than being told you didn't get it! You start thinking that you imagined the whole interview. Perhaps I did. Perhaps things are so bad that I am beginning to hallucinate myself into positions! Anyway poo to them. I'm over it now.
My background is in science. I started out in the NHS then moved into the dead end hell that is academia to do the PhD. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but that's where all the burnout started.
I went back to the NHS, only to find that I could not go back to the exact job I had done for three years without training for two years on a salary lower than I had at that time before qualifying to get back to the position I was at, but without the guarentee of any job at the end of the training. I moved cities to take the 'next step up' job from that (the only position I could get), which is still basically a new graduate training scheme and is set up as such with the MSc etc and lower pay, but still no guarentee of a job at the end of it... I would probably end up having to uproot again to Timbuctoo or somewhere. I was so much worse off moving there...financially, socially, in every way. I even hated the city -it's frequently voted the worst in the UK and I can see why!
3 years was a hell of a lot to invest in such a narrow field with so few prospects. I felt I was sacrificing too much for something I didn't even want to do (knew that when I left that field in the first place) and just cracked!
Totally sick of science now. Time for a career change, but what????
well the company finally got back to me, 3 weeks late. Said I got down to the final two. Very good interview, extremely close, spent ages deliberating, but sorry...
It cuts even more when you know you were so close!
In my case it came down to me or an internal candidate. I am still waiting to hear from the interview in the middle of Aug. It is a pain but it will be worth it if I get the job. At least you now know you are great and maybe the next interview you will land the position.
... I can play it by ear.
well the company finally got back to me, 3 weeks late. Said I got down to the final two. Very good interview, extremely close, spent ages deliberating, but sorry..
Better luck next time, Birdy.
I'm back!
Update: Started to do some volunteering last year in November then got offered a position last November with the company! Immediately accepted it ofcourse. Happy days!
Fast forward a few months and we're told we're all being laid off because of the public sector budget cuts :( Finished a fortnight ago, already feeling the familiar anxiety and depression...here we go again!...
It's almost worse to get an interview, feel like you did well, then hear nothing than to not even get an interview.
What do you do? Any chance you could become a gunslinger/freelancer/contractor?
It's so easy to slide into depression. The best way to keep yourself out of it is to try to find things to do. Life is a process of putting one foot in front of the other.
When life hands you sh*t, make fertilizer.