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Hello
Fri, 04/15/2011 - 06:33
I found this site while googling the words unemployed and depressed. It is such an encouragement to see other people with the same problems, as I was feeling more and more alone each day.
My name is Michelle and I have been unemployed for almost a year. I worked as a teacher at a private school in Florida for 14 years. My husband lost his job in 2008, and we went through some serious financial struggles that ended when he cashed in his 401K to pay off a family debt and credit cards. In early 2010, he got a job opportunity in Connecticut.The benefits supposedly included free college tuition for both me and our daughter when she graduates high school in 4 years. After much discussion we decided it would be best for us to move from Florida where we had lived for over 20 years to return to his hometown for this opportunity.I was to return to school for my graduate degree in counseling, and hopefully begin a new career. After the move, we discovered tuition benefits only covered children. In addition to this, I was unable to get CT certification without returning to school.( My undergrad degree was in Psychology, but I had earned my teacher certification for private schools in Florida, which Connecticut doesn't recognize. There is no money for this, and my husband makes too much to qualify for any grants.
So I can't teach, and can't return to school. This is a very small, poor town well away from any major cities, so jobs are scarce anyway. I have applied everywhere, retail, administrative assistant, substitute teaching, human services, even random craigslist postings for babysitting. Many jobs require bilingual skills, which I don't have. The only interview I got was for a babysitting job, and I didn't get the job because I was overqualified.
So, I comb the job boards, pray, and try to keep my skills fresh. The small savings we had from selling possessions have hemorraged away, and we are now living on credit cards. I miss my family, job,friends, and the weather in Florida. My husband feels guilty for my disappointment, but we are trapped here. He has friends from high school, and they and their wives are nice to me, but in a distant way. They are well meaning with their advice on how to get work, but none of them has told me anything that I haven't done. I finally told them I didn't want to talk about it unless they had a specific lead.
I am trying to stay positive, and I know this can't last forever. I feel like I am useless and just marking time until.....I don't know.
Fri, 04/15/2011 - 11:57
#2
What NOT to do
I'm so sorry about your situation, in a bad one myself. A suggestion to others; DON'T cash in your retirement/ 401 K money to pay debt like credit card bills. Do a bankruptcy and KEEP your money! You don't know when you may need it, and I'm SURE you need it more than the million/billion/trillion dollar corporations. These assets are protected in a bankruptcy. Corporations do bankruptcy all the time; why should people like us feel ashamed when we're in this situation through NO fault of our own? Take care of YOU, look out for YOU, no one else will and certainly not corporate america. You can usually get a consultation free, call around and ask for rates too as these can vary widely. I wish I knew then what I know now; I'd have done a Chapter 7 alot sooner.
Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:27
#3
Welcome!
Hi Michelle:
I am so sorry you are going through what you are right now.
Have you thought about just you going back to Florida and working for awhile?
I did that as the Columbus, Georgia area where my boyfriend moved to has nothing for me. I stayed in Orlando, Florida from June 2010 to January 2011 and worked a temp job for 6 months. Now I am back home and trying again (lol).
I may have to travel for work again and at age 52 (53 this September), I am just too old for this. But the bills have to be paid and he is the only one (age 57) working.
Angela
Sun, 04/17/2011 - 17:26
#4
Oh, Michelle, my heart goes out to you!
First of all, reassure your hubbie that he has no reason to feel guilty. He did what he thought was best for the family. Your family is the most important thing in your life, the only true measure of success. Fight for it with your very life!
And take the view from 30,000 feet for a second: In a few years, your dear daughter will be eligible for free college tuition. Do you know what that's worth these days? It's nothing to sneeze at.
As for your situation, it does sound sucky as hell. I know what those little towns in Connecticut are like, and they are bleak. The weather is horrible compared to Florida, but you know what: "Everybody always complains about the weather but nobody ever does anything about it." Personally, the heat in Florida would almost drive me to drink, but I'd learn to deal with it if fate tossed me to Tallahassee. Springtime is lovely in the Northeast, as is fall. Give it a chance.
Friends? Well, I have some experience with uprooting and moving, and I have to tell you that it's a blessing in disguise. Your friends in Florida are still you friends. The true ones will always be your friends. Here's the great news, though: You're going to make new friends! I promise you will. I am putting it out to the Multiverse right now: Send Michelle some new and wonderful friends! Anybody out there reading, put it out there for Michelle. Most of all, Michelle, put it out there for yourself!
Finances: Yeah, that's a tough one. If you're living on credit already, why not look into taking some classes? I bet you dimes to dozens that your husband's employer has some kind of discount for spouses, even if classes aren't free. If you really want your certification, you can get it. But think about what you really want, then put one foot in front of the other until -- goddamn it -- you get there. Money troubles suck hard. I've had my fair share, but money comes and goes. A ton of rich people have lost everything. A ton of poor people have made good. Set a goal, then hustle, hustle, hustle -- the money will flow. I promise you that. It might take a while, but it will flow.
You're not alone, Michelle. A lot of us out here know exactly what you're going through. I just lost my job on Friday, but I'll be goddamned if I'm going to make the same mistakes I made last time. Fear and self-pity are useless. Keep that little flame of hope alive, and it will lead you through the dark.
Best of luck.
Sun, 04/17/2011 - 17:57
#5
You just raised my blood pressure a bit
Can't get a job because my credit rating is now ruined.
To call this my pet peeve would not do justice to the sheer, unmitigated rage that courses through my veins when someone mentions this problem. Who the FUCK are they to look into your personal financial life? Really. There is no excuse for this. If you're going to be in a position to handle money or commit fraud in your new job, you can see why they might want to check your credit rating, but you will have to be bonded anyway; i.e., they will have to insure you against that sort of thing anyway.
Personally, I've been extremely blessed to have always managed to find a way to pay my bills. I have a stellar credit rating, absolutely AAA and gold-plated. Does this mean I'm better at your job than you? Does it make me a better person? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Hells. To. The. NO!
With so many people having experienced the incredible hardship that comes with long-term unemployment, the last thing we need is some largely arbitrary computer rating preventing people from getting jobs. Seriously, there should be a law preventing companies from looking into your credit ratings which are absolutely irrelevant to your ability to get the job done.
Criminal record? Sure, open it up in some cases. If you've been convicted of something that makes you a liability, it's fair for them to say, "Thanks but no thanks." But having been through a period of not being able to pay your bills as a "legitimate" metric for discrimination? Bollocks! It is discrimination, plain and simple, the creation of a marginal underclass. It's the kind of thing that happened in Communist East Germany, and we as Americans should be absolutely ASHAMED that it's happening here.
Grrrrrr~!
Best of luck to you.
Sun, 04/17/2011 - 18:34
#6
Hi Angela
Thanks for the
Hi Angela
Thanks for the reply. I have considered going back to Florida and working, but I really don't want to leave my daughter. She is happy in her new high school, but I know she still needs her mommy.
I have read many of your posts and blogs, and you have such a resilient attitude. THank you for the encouragement.
Michelle
Sun, 04/17/2011 - 18:43
#7
Thanks Chuck for the
Thanks Chuck for the encouragement. I actually teared up when I read your post.
You are right in so many ways, and on most days, I am capable of agreeing with you. SOmetimes, I get really down.
But yes, spring is gorgeous, though a little colder than I expected. And the college tuition for my daughter is HUGE...in fact the main reason we decided on taking this huge step.
I do have one big possible job, and my husband's boss knows the hiring manager, and has contacted him on my behalf. My fingers are crossed hard for this to work out.
We have checked into the spouse tuition discount and it is not available for me, but the same boss is trying to pull some strings there. Obviously, he loves my husband's work and wants to keep him at all costs, so this is definitely a plus.
Thanks for reminding me to count my blessings!!!
Good luck to you as you continue looking for the perfect career, although I think it should be somewhere in the encouraging business!
Love your "fertilizer" tag!
Michelle
Mon, 04/18/2011 - 09:46
#8
It is sad, but true!
Hi Chuck:
With the recession, employers are checking job applicants credit report. Needless to say, I don't apply for those jobs (lol) = my credit is totally messed up due to being laid off, age 52 and I have no credit score!!!!! (lol)
Mon, 04/18/2011 - 09:50
#9
Kids need stability
Hi Michelle:
I totally agree about your daughter. For the 18 years my only child was living with me, ALL jobs were based on what was best for HER.
Now that she is 24 (left for college at age 18) - working on her Masters, I can now be selfish and go where the work is.
You may have said this already, so accept my apologies if I missed it - what type of work are you interested in doing? There are several ways to do "legal/lol" work online.
***I have my days, and yesterday was one of them when I don't want to get out of the bed. But I don't allow that one BAD day to mess up the NEXT day. Took a long time to figure this out (lol). It is like, you have another day to do things differently***
Angela
Mon, 08/15/2011 - 22:07
#10
First job interview in over a year
I have an interview tomorrow for a behavior specialist in an alternative school. I have never done this type of work, but am qualified through my psych degree and teaching experience. This is the first interview I have landed in over a year of searching. I am nervous, but in an excited way! Even if I don't get the job, it is a step up from where I was a week ago!!
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:52
#11
Interview
Out of the blue, I got a call yesterday for a job I had applied for over a month ago. Interviewed today with the principal and head teacher for behavior intervention specialist and employment coordinator for an alternative high school. THis is the first interview I have had since my last position ended in May 2010! Not sure if will get the job, but did have a renewal of hope that my applications aren't just going into a huge black void.
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:28
#12
That's great, Anonymous!
Make sure to read my piece on how to interview, and knock 'em dead!
Thu, 08/18/2011 - 05:24
#13
Good luck!
Good luck with this interview, knock 'em dead!! You can do it!
Thu, 08/18/2011 - 15:45
#14
Interview
Did not get the job, but at least the hiring manager called and let me know. They hired someone with ten years experience in the exact same position, something I didn't have. But overall, it was a great interview; I felt comfortable and capable for the first time in a long time. Just checked my email this morning and have a response from a separate employer over another job I applied for a month ago. I have made contact with him, and am crossing my fingers for another interview. Overall, this was a positive experience after being in a "void" for a year.
Thanks for the well wishes! THere is nothing like a little hope to fuel optimism!!
Fri, 08/19/2011 - 07:40
#15
"Anonymous" posting above
I am the anonymous who posted above. Finally took the time to remember my password and legitimately sign in.
It seems like the flood gate have opened(or at least the "small trickle" gates) since Monday. A part time online job I waited on for nearly a year came through yesterday. Temporary, but it will help. I also am working part time temporary at a liquor store, covering for an employee whose mother is terminally ill and needs to keep her job, but wants afternoons with her mom. I have afternoons free so..... As much as I hate the word "networking" I have to admit both of these were found through friends. OK, the second job I found when I went to buy wine and saw the clerk crying, but it was still a non posted job.
I find much encouragement and camraderie reading these posts. I hope my ongoing saga can be a source of hope for others. I does get better!
Hi, I want to thank you first for a place to vent. I'm in pretty bad shape right now, financially and mentally. I lost my job in August 09, was a project manager in commercial real estate transactions. Took an internal transfer across the country to a place where I had no family or friends to help another office with a billion dollar client. They were close to getting fired; I turned it all around. I took a big loss on my condo to do this and was depending on the bonus pay to make up the loss. A matter of weeks before the deal closed they laid me off-bye bye bonus pay. It was the first time in my life I lost my job. I couldn't take a job that paid much less because I wouldn't be able to keep the roof over my head; my rent went up $150 a month just after I lost my job. Had a tooth die and got my first (expensive) root canal too. Had another tooth capped due to cracking, apparently I've been clenching and grinding at night (gee, no idea why). Alot of expense for someone without a job. Didn't bother with medical, couldn't afford it even with Cobra discount. Was just over the limit for food stamps/ other help. Finally got out of my apartment and now living with a significant other, been getting caught up with badly needed dental work before the insurance runs out. UI ended in February, they never even sent me a notice so I didn't know it was coming. Being sued by creditors and doing a bankruptcy now. Can't get a job because my credit rating is now ruined. SO is on a really tight budget after several bad years and layoffs and when he complains about the cost of groceries I just cringe. I'm trying so hard, applied to three temp agencies and getting nowhere with them either. Two of my last three jobs I didn't even look for; people came to me and asked me to work for them. Won many many awards for exceptional customer service, acheiving and surpassing sales goals, have many letters of commendation on file. I can't believe this is happening to me. I've lost alot of faith, I can't believe that god listens or cares any more. All my life I've been honest and good, trying to do the right thing, even returned lost purses and money when I needed it badly. I feel like WTF, THIS is my reward for being a good person??? Anymore if I found a wallet and they looked like they had money I'd just take the cash and throw the wallet in a sewer. I feel like when they let you go they should come hand you a loaded .45 and leave. It's hard to feel human any more when you don't even have enough money left for a cup of coffee, a cheap haircut, a card for Mother's Day. Running out of hope, vitamins, makeup, lotion, the special stuff I take for a painful and possibly debilitating eye problem. I don't ask for anything, don't feel I have a right to. I have a unemployment theme song:
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Until they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no job 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me and I'm getting real shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy