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My family blames me for being unemployed
Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:16
I have two college degrees with more than 20 years excellent experience. I have been looking for a job for over a year now. I not only applied where I live but nationally. NOTHING.
I am listed with every staffing agency known where I live. I am on Monster and iHire and too many others to mention.
I am sick and tired of hearing my children say that I am not "Doing Enough"; "Doing it "Right". I have tried to explain to them that knocking on doors doesn't work. I have tried calling and 120% of the time I am told ..."we only accept online applications".
I will literally do anything... I need a job not a career. Wash floors, scrub toilets... but I am told I am "overqualified" and my agency tells me it won't help to submit me to these jobs (and I have personally applied at hotels in the area to do housekeeping) because nobody would even look at my resume. I understand the employer's hesitancy to hire someone with higher education... But I have to live and eat too.
I have gone through very harsh depression and anxiety. My kids do NOT understand. There is no empathy. They have no idea how humiliating and degrading this is for me.
Sun, 06/19/2011 - 10:35
#2
I am having to put up with
I am having to put up with crap that just makes me furious
I hear you on that one, DMK. Loud and clear. The other day my boss asked me how to spell a word that any third grader would know. And yet he feels entitled to say demeaning and hurtful things to me.
I am so full of anger these days it is unbelievable. I feel like the bullies of the world have taken over and locked the good people out. I am trying to fight back, but in doing so, I am probably in danger of losing my job since pretty much every job is "at will" these days.
Sun, 06/19/2011 - 12:57
#3
Unemployment has made me a different person
Just like you Jen, I am full of anger these days. When I am in public I hide it and put on a happy face. Thank goodness my friends allow me to vent though. Otherwise, I don't know what I would do with myself.
What I am finding is that I am allowing other people to influence my moods way too much, which is very unhealthy. It also allows other people to have more control over me than they should be allowed. I am to the point where if I feel any negative feelings about someone at all, I get away from them as fast as I can. Becoming unemployed was not an open invitation for others to abuse us.
Mon, 06/20/2011 - 07:18
#4
Oh Milla, I hear you loud and clear
It is absolutely awful to play the "job lottery" day in and day out, never getting a winning ticket even on the $1 scratch-off tickets (cruddy jobs). I know exactly how you feel, and I know what it feels like to lose the respect of loved ones even though you're trying so hard. All too many of us know this feeling.
I also empathize with what Jen said about bullies. Even when you get a job, you live in constant fear of losing it.
It is an absolutely depressing state of affairs.
But you can change some things. Ultimately, you still control your own mind. Instead of being hurt by your childrens' insistence that you're not "doing it right," ask them what they think you should be doing differently. Don't be defensive or sarcastic. Listen to their answers. They might have some good ideas. I hate to say this, but they're obviously correct to some degree or you'd have a job by now, right? If what you're doing isn't working, do something else. Keep an open mind, and keep your chin up.
Oh -- and keep us posted.
Wed, 07/06/2011 - 12:10
#5
Yup
I hear you on this one.
I am 48, my husband has a good paying job that he hates, that isn't quite enough money to live on.
The outcome - he gets jealous of me and 'all my free time' and why don't I just take any frickin job.
He doesn't get the level of frustration, that I don't have as much free time as he seems to think, that like someone else said - lowpaying crappy jobs also have a profile - one that doesn't fit a 48yr old women with a MS in a science field (i.e. they won't hire me. On top of which they pay less than my unemployment.
I've started to apply to jobs in my field across the country - which is really a waste of time because we aren't moving (per my husband) - and last time I took a consulting job away from home, our marriage all but fell apart.
Their just are no opening here. I am at a loss. I LOVE being a biologist, its all I want to do. I would do it for free but volunteers are not respected here and you just end up typing in entries to a database or siting at a reception desk.
Unemployment month 5 and counting.
Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:53
#6
I feel your pain! My husband
I feel your pain! My husband has to travel to make up for my job loss , so I only see him every five months. I have been laid off for eight months, with a higher education I have concluded to take my degrees off my resume, I try to keep on reinventing myself yet I feel as lost as well. Hopefully news jobs will come forward yet keep the faith and hope Life gets better for everyone!
Fri, 08/26/2011 - 12:57
#7
PerfectlyNOT
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Oh Milla, how I do empathize with you. I have gone from being respected and sought out for what I do to now having to beg for any menial job I can find. My 22 year-old son now makes more an hour than I do! I recently have landed two part-time jobs that I am way overqualified for and I am having to put up with crap that just makes me furious, but I have to swallow it. It is beyond demeaning.
Since you are applying for hotel housekeeping jobs, have you thought about working for yourself and doing private housekeeping instead? This way you can determine your own hours and set your own rates. There are classified Web sites such as Care.com that can help you get started by connecting with people in need of services in your area.
Good luck to you, dear. Not that it does you a damn bit of good knowing this, but you are not alone.