Overcoming fear by doing things that make you uncomfortable is difficult but well worth it

A couple of days ago I disclosed my lifelong phone phobia. Even calling people I've known forever is challenging for me, but cold calling to drum up business? Forget it. I literally break into hives just thinking about it.

It's so weird. I don't know where it comes from, but I've always been timid about calling people, especially on business. I distinctly remember my mother scolding me for not calling a kindly neighbor who wanted to buy a plant from me when I was about five or six. A budding botonist, I had nurtured the plant from a sprout into a healthy geranium. At my mother's stern urging, I did call the neighbor, and she did buy the plant. Twenty years later I paid a visit to the neighbor, and she pointed out the plant which had grown enormous and made many babies over the years.

This week, it literally took me three and a half days to work up the guts to make one call, even though I knew exactly what I wanted to say. When I finally did make the call, fully expecting to be rejected, you know what they said? They said yes! They frickin'... said... YES! This is a total life-changer for me. My first ice-cold call on behalf of my own business resulted in a yes. Beginner's luck? Maybe, but I'll take it. This could turn into one of those giant geranium things, metaphorically speaking.

While I don't have a check in my hand just yet, I'm pretty sure I'll get one pretty soon because I've overcome the biggest obstacle (for me) and now I just have to get to work cultivating the client by producing kick-ass work for them. A few more of these clients and I'll be able to hire a salesperson to make the initial contacts and deal with the inevitable rejection.

Of course, what I am offering is far beyond good. It's awesome. That will help. The strategy is basically to give them something good for free so that they beg you to sell them something awesome. It's kind of like the dope dealer giving their future prospects a little taste to get them hooked. Not going to reveal any more than that, but let's just say it's a pretty good plan. Corporate America is really losing out by blacklisting a mind like mine, but fuck them. I don't need them, and I'm going to crush them by out-competing them in the market. I'm going to help small businesses become big businesses. That's the plan, anyway. You mark my words, 20 years from now you will be like, "Yeah, I used to read his blog before he was a titan, back when we were all just unemployed losers. Ah, the good old days..."

(SHUT UP, EGO!!!! Ahem... sorry, but I'm kind of walking on air today, and it makes my head big. The battle against my own arrogance is another one I've fought for a long time. I'll save that for another post.)

Anyhoo, this experience got me thinking about work in general. My dad always used to say, "Work sucks. That's why they pay you for it." For a long time I thought he was full of it. They pay you for it because you're adding value to the business...

... but not totally. I've added plenty of value free of charge when doing something I absolutely love to do and never regretted giving away freebies. This site is an example of that. I never really cared if it made any money for me. If I had, I wouldn't have stuck with it as long as I have. I just love to write. I love it when people tell me that what I've written has helped them. Try as I might, I haven't gotten paid (much) for it. Maybe that's because it doesn't suck for me to do it.

The point I was going to make when I started this post (funny, I expected it to be a really short post at the outset) was this: Do something that you are afraid to do or that you really hate to do. That's what discipline is all about. All growth, all progress comes about through some sort of struggle.

When you're unemployed, it's easy in a way. You can sit around and wallow in a mire of self-pity. You can do nothing. You can gripe and complain. You can fight with your significant other about money.

All of those things are easy. What is difficult is to do the opposite. Force yourself to feel good. Force yourself to do something instead of nothing. Force yourself to count your blessings. Force yourself to see it your spouse's way. Force yourself to do something you fear or that makes you uncomfortable. That's how you make progress.

I ain't no fancy expert, but I'm pretty sure I'm right on this.