Full Circle?

Friday the 13th -- let the drama begin!

Oh boy... here's an update on my situation:

So I'm hunting for a job again. Have had a few interviews, one "offer" that I still don't have in writing so I'm not holding my breath. Trying to be optimistic, but it's very difficult.

Yesterday my wife announced that she is leaving again, unrelated to my employment status, I guess. Can't say we didn't try, I guess.

Worst of all, I'm starting to feel depressed and worthless. You unemployed people know the drill.

How do I find myself in such a similar spot -- unemployed, abandoned, depressed -- to where I was a couple of years ago? Asking that question is either healthy or unhealthy. On the one hand, it feeds a negative feedback loop. On the other, if I don't answer that question, I will continue whatever pattern of behavior and thought that got me here... and find myself right back in this same spot in a few years.

Here's the good news: I've been here before. Documented it. Came out of it OK. I know what to do this time.

What will I do differently this time?

First of all, I am nipping this depression in the bud. I choose to be happy and upbeat, whatever it takes; fake it 'til I make it. Life is too precious to waste feeling sorry for yourself. Last time I let the depression linger way too long, let it drag me down. That will not happen this time.

Second, I am either finding a new job soon or getting my business going again. Not to brag, but I add a lot of value to the world. I am confident in my ability to make money, and I am making that happen.

Finally, I am letting go of this marital relationship and opening myself up to new relationships of all kinds. My wife is not a bad person. I'm not a bad person. We made a run at it. There is no shame in calling it quits on this one. It stings a bit, but it's not a mortal wound. Last time I felt like such a failure, blamed myself, and made every effort to right my wrongs. Now I see that it's not on me, what will be will be, and I'm cool with that.

(blinking cursor, invasive bad thoughts creeping in..."My wife is such an incredible a-hole...")

I'm going for a bike ride.

Until next time,

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Sorry about the recent

Sorry about the recent misfortune. Hopefully the offer will come through, though if I were you and had the talent, I'd go the self-employment route. I have been working full-time again for 2 months after being unemployed for a year. I'm making $52K less than my last job, and being put down on a daily basis by a younger manager with less experience and education than me, and a fresh-out-of-college coworker who thinks he knows it all. Aside from which, this "job" doesn't really pay enough for me to survive on. Being unemployed sucks and working sucks too. I wish all the un/under-employed could band together and form their own businesses and take down the bad guys - that is my revenge fantasy. :)

chuck's picture

I've had that one too

I wish all the un/under-employed could band together and form their own businesses and take down the bad guys - that is my revenge fantasy. :)

It really is all about organization, and that's one of the reasons capital is so powerful. If you have $50 million in the bank, it's easy to organize the resources you need to carry out all kinds of profitable projects. One wall I ran into when I was doing my own business was that I never had enough money to hire anybody. I had a good plan but never the human resources to execute. You basically hit a wall at some point where you can only do so much by yourself.

When life hands you sh*t, make fertilizer.

True enough, but in this

True enough, but in this economy you might be able to find people willing to volunteer for a time, if for nothing else than to keep busy, keep their skills fresh and/or learn a new skill. My former boss has been working on starting his business for the past year. He might have a student helping him out, but if he'd asked me, I certainly would have given him a hand. Seems to me there are some talented folks right here on this board...

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