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Unemployed and Depressed? It's Normal.
If you weren't depressed, you'd be crazy. Unemployment is depressing.
[DISCLAIMER: The following should not be construed as professional advice. If you are chronically depressed, get help. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, go here or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) IMMEDIATELY Life is a beautiful gift though it might feel like a turd sandwich going down your throat right now.]
I have to admit it: I get depressed. I guess depression is the word for it it. Getting out of bed is a chore. Life seems pointless. Leaving the house is worse than staying in because I generally have nowhere to go but to the park or to the library -- you know, places where the homeless hang out. Hanging out with homeless people is more depressing than sitting at home alone and wondering how long it will be until I, too, am homeless.
They say it's important to "get out there." But where do you go? The days of putting on your best suit and pounding pavement with a briefcase full of crisp, updated CVs are gone. You can't just saunter in to a place of business and hand them your résumé anymore. Your cunning in getting past security will be futile; the receptionist will nervously inform you that they only accept online applications.
You can only "work the network" for so long. At some point, if that doesn't pan out, you are left with no options beyond the job lottery -- submitting applications into the online tsunami of them hoping for a phone call. I get about one phone call a week if I spend all my time doing that. (It used to be two, but the economy has really gone downhill.)
All of this is very depressing. I don't know if I'm a textbook case of depression yet, but I don't bother to shave anymore. My hair is a mess. The mirror, my mortal enemy, mocks me at every opportunity. All I want to do is sleep. The only thing that's kept me from developing a drinking problem is lack of money. I accept the fact that I am a total. fucking. loser. How did I get here? Does it really matter?
Exercise helps. Going for a long bike ride makes me feel good for an hour or two. Lifting weights isn't really my thing because it makes me think of prison (not that I have any first-hand experience with that). Swimming would be nice, but it's out of my price range. Yoga always calms me and cools my searing rage.
Ah yes, the rage: They say it's a symptom of depression. What unemployed soul hasn't experienced its awesome power? When I lift weights, I imagine smashing some investment banker's Ferrari with one of those heavy municipal garbage cans. The rage is what makes you say, "Fuck sadness! Let's kick some ass!" Then the flames die down to a smoulder as you realize that kicking any ass but your own is a waste of time. And you're back to Square One: Depression.
I don't buy all that bullshit about depression being some sort of natural chemical imbalance. That's just another con job to sell pharmaceuticals, modern day snake oil sales. The only reason that I am depressed is that I do not have a job. This was never a problem for me before. Did I have bad days? Sure. Did I feel sad? Yeah, usually when something bad happened to somebody else. The only time that depression has continued for weeks and months on end is during periods of unemployment.
I guess that makes things easy in a way. If I can get a job, it will cure my depression.
Here's to hoping...
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- chuck's blog
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Comments
Sheesh...
What are you so depressed about, man? You've got this great site! I see you've got some ads and stuff. Sometimes it really is darkest just before the dawn. Hang in there.
When you ain't got nothin', you got nothin' to lose - B. Dylan
When you ain't got nothin', you got nothin' to lose - B. Dylan
sure hope you're right
thanks for the support.
Surrender.
Surrender.
Col. Hector Bravado
denversixshooter.com
Col. Hector Bravado
denversixshooter.com
Good advice
It works if you do it consciously. Just say, "Whatever. Hit me with all you got, life," and it all passes.
Pls don't dismiss treatment - some people need it
Chuck - You know I love your work and appreciate this site very much. I enjoy the benefits this safe haven provides and thank you for the freedom to process my unemployment / underemployment ups and downs without fear.
While I agree with most of what you say, you know I also respectfully disagree occasionally. So here's my thing today...
You said, "I don't buy all that bullshit about depression being some sort of natural chemical imbalance. That's just another con job to sell pharmaceuticals, modern day snake oil sales."
I say, there are exceptions to this. That is, I think there must be. The funny / sad thing is, I'd have been 100% with you on this two weeks ago, but the recent suicide of a dear friend altered my view on the subject.
This is not meant to be about her, but about the stress unemployment added to her other challenges. We can all relate to that. My friend loved life, constantly encouraged others, and faced most days' challenges with optimism.
I can't say her unsuccessful job hunt caused her depression, or triggered the drastic action she finally took, but it didn't help. Stress caused something to change for her, or in her, along the way. I wondered how she went from seeing the world as a playground of opportunity to a worthless piece of shit. It simply was not her.
I scoured the Internet to try to understand why anyone would choose suicide. I finally found a website that was so enlightening to me, it helped me stop being angry at my friend for her "bad" choice. It's possible she simply became too sick to logically think her way through her depression anymore. It happens. I wonder if the website would have helped her...
So it's a double-edged sword. As much as I believe Big Pharma is out to medicate the masses for maximum profit, there are also individuals who can benefit from meds or counseling. Stress and / or substance abuse can cause mental illness to flare up and interfere with job hunting. Also, onset of menopause is a wicked time for some middle-aged women.
All this, just to say untreated severe depression is dangerous. I know you've already told readers to seek professional help, if they think they need it. Thank you for letting me say it, too.
Thoughts of suicide...
... are not normal and their appearance means immediate treatment is necessary.
Suicide is a permanent "solution" to temporary problems. Anyone considering suicide should visit this website or -- better yet -- dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
right now!!!
Thanks for sharing that. Don't know how I missed this comment. Probably because I didn't have to moderate it thanks to your elevated permissions.
depression + unemployment
ahhh. sitting at my computer on a beautiful day in southern california and looking for answers to help me get out of my funk.
I have been unemployed for over five months and have been suffering from depression and more than anything - anger. Real bad anger. I can't get beyond my job loss and the anger at my past employer - I have dreams about work still !! It doesn't help that I am now 50 years old, peri-menopausal, and dealing with being out of work as an older female.
I was replaced with a young woman half my age with 2 yrs experience. UGH.
I do have thoughts of what the fuck - who cares anymore about anything.
It is the holidays and I want to just crawl under a rock and hide. I hate going out and it takes forever to even get the energy to get dressed. I am thinking about taking drugs for depression to get me out of this nightmare. I know exercise, yoga, diet all help but I can't even motivate to do the dishes let alone take a walk.
medication can help
if all else fails, it's worth a try. I just think that all too often it is a first resort.
Good luck to you. Try to use your anger to fuel constructive projects -- it's an incredible source of energy.
"I don't buy all that
"I don't buy all that bullshit about depression being some sort of natural chemical imbalance. That's just another con job to sell pharmaceuticals, modern day snake oil sales. The only reason that I am depressed is that I do not have a job."
I appreciate all of your comments, and feel much the same, save one: I am dismayed by your comment that depression is never an "imbalance".
I am unemployed and extremely depressed - 1 1/2 years without a job. BUT the thing is, I have ALWAYS been depressed. Bad times, good times, great times - aside from very occasional, momentary, manic-like joy, I am always depressed. I even received a PhD earlier this year - finally - and how did that feel? I tried very hard to be happy, get excited - I always thought it would be an exception, I so looked forward to graduation - but I was empty and hollow - and that, in turn, made me miserable - I cried after the ceremony, I couldn't help it - I thought, if this doesn't make me feel better, does that mean nothing ever will? And that IS a chemical imbalance.
I have been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager - 19 years. And yes, I now take medication, 6 years on and off - it is the only thing that prevents suicidal thoughts - and so for me and others, medication really IS necessary. Maybe not for momentary, situational depression, but certainly for the other kind, my kind. There really should be different names for these conditions - they are NOT the same. So your depression is from unemployment only? That's good news for you, but that does NOT mean everyone's is only caused by some real-world problem.
And so while I agree that not all depression is physical or physiological - stress, mourning, unemployment, and the like leads to "situational depression" (according to my psychiatrist) - my depression, and many others, IS physical - otherwise, it's inexplicable.
It is this societal belief that depression is all in our heads, that if we buck up and think positive, things will change, that leads many of us depressives into reclusiveness - aside from my very supportive husband, I am a recluse primarily because I can't be open with anyone for fear of them thinking I should just stop feeling sorry for myself or trying to give me a pep talk. I don't feel sorry for myself, I don't need a pep talk - I simply have next to no control over how I feel, and I need someone to simply accept that. THAT alone would make me feel better - I could make friends, go places, talk to people without hiding my true self.
Fair enough.
I still don't buy it, though, except in extremely rare cases. Maybe you're one of those.
Did you try exercise, meditation, switching up your diet, hypnosis or any of a thousand different ways of re-wiring your brain before deciding that it was just easier to fork money over to Big Pharma every month?
Anyway, if it works for you, may your pill bottle never be empty. Who am I to judge?
Pills
Being unemployed myself I fully understand the importance of exercise and in some cases pills. I will say, not having prescription insurance really bites when you need it the most. I was so happy to find that I could save big $$ on my maintenace medications at www.nationalprescriptiondiscounts.com. Its free to have and free to use. Just print your card up and use it. It sometimes saves more than 75% off the price I was paying and its accepted at almost every pharmacy.
Great
Thanks for sharing this.
It's hard Chuck, its very hard
It's hard Chuck, its very hard.
I have worked for over 28 years and now unemployed. Laid off, Fired or Terminated they are all the same to me. I was let go with no reason other then they can hire and fire at will. The new management did not want me and a few others and we were let go.
I have good days and bad ones, it's like a roller coster ride. I wish someone would call me with a job offer, but there are not many IT jobs around were I live.
If I take another job that just gets me by I don't know how hard it would be to get back to making the monies were I was at.
I searh google now and then for key words like unemployed and depression and found your site today. Thats why I'm posting.
The firends that I thought were friends from work don't call or e-mail. It's like I'm a virus or something and that hurts even more.
If I stay busy doing things around the house I seem to be ok.
Just want to work thats all.
Depressed in NY.
I've been there
You have no idea how much I relate to what you're saying. In a world where so much needs to be done, how can so many people be without anything to do?
I hope you find or make work soon. I see you're in New York. If you're in the vicinity of Queens or Manhattan, contact me through this site. We'll have coffee on me.
Good luck.
unemployed and depressed in the UK
Like most people, I have good and bad days. I battle to avoid drinking as I know it makes me feel worse but it also numbs the depression a little.
I exercise a lot, as I've been a long distance runner for years, so have always made the effort to eat healthily and exercise 2 or 3 times a week. I avoid pills as my sister takes anti-depressants and having to deal with her being a zombie, I definitely don't want to take them.
I was doing pretty well these last few weeks, got my optimism up after christmas. I even got a couple of interviews that went really well. And then got called yesterday to be told that I didn't get either job. The feedback was flimsy - they liked me, thought I had a lot of potential and would definitely consider me in the future...blah blah blah... If I'm so good, why didn't they just give me the job?
5 months into my redundancy and the light at the end of the tunnel is feeling further away than ever.
I do CBT and it does work, but its hard when you've got nothing to get up for each day.
CBT?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -- had to Google that one. It sounds a lot like what I've been doing on myself for years without having a name for it.
Surf around this blog to see it in action. LOL.
Goals are so incredibly important. I am of the opinion that the fundamental problem of unemployment -- aside from not having money which is also a big one -- is that you lack goals and direction. You don't have a reason to get up, a mission, a team.
So set goals and work toward achieving them.
Good luck. You're definitely not alone.
One of Many
I am so glad I found your site.
I have been unemployed from full-time work for 16 months (gasp!), applied to over 800 jobs, and interviewed for six positions. Whoopdie-freaking-doo. Not even former managers have the "power" to throw me a life preserver, and hire me.
I lost my car, and my credit is all F'd up.
There is so much wrong with these stats. No wonder I feel like a worthless piece right now. Yet, there is a light inside of me that refuses to burn out.
I have done my best to be tenacious these last 16 months to keep myself busy while looking for work, seemingly reinventing myself...
...living with family. Cathartic, yet oh so mentally draining.
...feuding and parting ways with family who saw my unemployment as a way to take advantage of me as a full-time nurse to the family dog, and house cleaner. I am almost always the first to volunteer to help, pull my weight and contribute, but c'mon, making me feel like little orphan Annie is unacceptable!
...volunteering my time in the community. Okay, this was very rewarding.
...pushing my physical abilities to the max; being forced to ride my bike and walk everywhere in addition to my normal exercise activities showed me a newfound appreciation for physical strength. Too bad I didn't know this in college; I would have become a physical therapist or personal trainer, and not wasted my time with corporate BS!
...working a part-time job for $8.20 an hour - belittling to my ego, hell, yes!, but it didn't kill me. I could only stand working with twenty-year-old-know-it-all's for six months, but it sure did fuel my fire to not give up applying to full-time job opportunities in my field!
...living with friends (their generosity is amazing), spending time with my god-children, and developing new-found appreciation for traditional roles of mother/wife and father/breadwinner (I also found personal affirmation that traditional married life with children is NOT for me :)).
...deciding to leave the West Coast and move to the Midwest where I have other immediate family. Change of scenery, fresh air, and opportunity for emotional recharging has GOT to do me some good. Staying in CA is just not a viable option for me, and my financial and personal favor resources are tapped.
Who knows, maybe I really do need a swift kick in the a** to learn the power of surrender to a greater plan from the powers that be (God?). I dunno...giving up is not an option. I do not know how to fail, yet waiting around is a killer and messes with my brain. Every day is a new day, and that, my friends, is the only thing that keeps me sane each day.
Good luck to me, and to anyone reading this.
The only failures...
... are the failure to try and the failure to learn.
Why not become a physical therapist now if that's what you want to do? Look for grants, scholarships, loans. It's a cliche, but where there's a will, there's a way. At most you are just four years away from that goal, but you're probably only two years away from it.
Set goals and follow through on them right now.
How about contacting three schools in your area with physical therapy programs? That's a goal that you can achieve today.
unemployed and depressed
after searching for jobs all day i have found myself here at this site. i have been working sense i was 6 years old and for the first time in my life i got nothing to do. I was laid off Dec 08 after the financial collapse and have done odd jobs to get by but they have left me with 0 in bank my house rented out living back with my parents. I can relate to all of the comments left and just wanted to say thanks for letting me unload my situation, bc im tired of talking about it to friends and family. Its all we talk about and that becomes exhausting. anyway good to know im not alone.
take care
Unload away
That's what the site's for.
Keep doing those "odd jobs." You never know, it could turn into a business for you. If that happens, you might even hire some people, maybe even somebody you meet here.
Anyway, good luck to you. Thanks for dropping by and adding your voice. You are definitely not alone.
Thanks Chuck!
It's a comfort to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. It's especially hard since I live alone. I am so glad that I found this website. Your words are very helpful to others like me, so please keep this up. I love that you have a sense of humor during these hard times. It feels like I finally found the boat that we are all in.
Connie
Thank you, Connie
Comments like yours lift my spirit. It's nice to be appreciated and to feel useful. That can be hard when one is unemployed.
Welcome to the boat. Feel free to hop on or off at any port of call.