Yo, Thursday afternoon I rolled up to the crib an' the whole block was silly with 5-0 ... oh, sorry -- wrong persona.

Thursday afternoon when I got home, there were cops all over the place. My neighbor had died. Nobody had seen him for a while so my landlady called the cops. They had to bust his door down to confirm his passage.

What a lonely way to go, but Tony lived the life he chose, I think. He was a private man who was always out puttering around the neighborhood, making regular stops at the deli, the laundromat, the barbershop, the pub -- all the hotspots in our neck of the woods. He had retired from the U.S. Postal Service about a year ago and was diagnosed with some kind of cancer about two months ago. The chemo and radiation treatment kicked the crap out of him, and nobody really saw him around after he went into treatment. I think that was what sapped his will to live, not being able to get out and about among the people, all of whom liked him. He had an easy way of shooting the breeze, a warm smile, a quick, sweetly acerbic New York City wit.

He was a nice guy. Far as I know, never did anybody any harm, never made an enemy, earned an honest living. He was a real sweetheart. I can't imagine anybody saying anything different, and he had lived in the same apartment for 30 years so he was a real fixture of the community. He couldn't have had many dark secrets.

It got me thinking: What do I want people to say about me? That seems like as fundamental a question as ever could be.

I can tell you what I don't want them to say:

• He had a nice car.
• Did you ever visit his ski chalet? It's lovely.
• That 25-year-old who replaced his wife is totally hot. What's her name? You think it would be inappropriate of me to ask for her number or should I wait for the wake?
• He could snap his fingers and money would rain down from the sky.

You see what I'm getting at, right?

I want people to say things like:

• "He was so kind and helpful."
• "He was both honest and trustworthy -- which is tough to pull off when you think about it."
• "He worked his ass off and delivered superlative results."
• "He was a devoted family man and a loyal friend."
• "He was a fighter who never gave up no matter how long the odds against him and who never backed down on his principles."
• "It always made me happy to have him around."
• "His blog was pretty neat."

That's what I want people to say about me.

What does this have to do with surviving unemployment? Everything. I can accomplish everything on the bottom list without having a job.

What do you want them to say about you?

I think people are saying all the things about Tony that he would want them to say. May he rest in peace.